its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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