Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
