My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
