I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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