your room smells of hookers.
And success
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
