do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
