that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
