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• (512): View more from Texas

  He told me I remind him of his sister...

  (917): View more from New York City

  Was this before or after you did it?

  (512): View more from Texas

  before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Can you return condoms to CVS?

  (516): View more from New York

  Only if you return your pride as well.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.

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• (951): View more from California

  Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS

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• (518): View more from New York

  However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex

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• (315): View more from New York

  There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.

  (315): View more from New York

  Send help.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere

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