Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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