gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
