dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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