i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
