So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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