susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
