sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
