I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
