seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
