im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
