grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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