So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
