i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
