Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
