The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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