what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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