i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
