i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
