Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
