i just had sex bonerless
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
