using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
