Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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