she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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