You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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