I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
