If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize