All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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