ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
