I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
