i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
did you just send me my own nude
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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