When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
