She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize