When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
