I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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