Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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