Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is it because I queefed?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
