I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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