Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
COCAINE IS GR8
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
