I seem to have left my pride at pride
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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