seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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