i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
