we have officially lost it.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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