One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
