so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
