just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
