So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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