Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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