We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
