white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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