this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
