He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
